San Francisco liberal – used as an epithet. Progressive – hurled as a pejorative. Dumb. Low IQ. DEI hire. Communist. Bitch. These are all attacks hurled by candidates and campaigns in order to win an election (or at least to win the news cycle!) – all made with the intention of dismissing the seriousness, eroding the viability and demeaning the character, judgment and decision-making of the opponent running for the same office. Some people wear these labels proudly, taking them as battle scars and are not in the least bit insulted by them. Others receive these insults as deeply personal attacks and fight back by devastatingly hitting below the belt. During an election cycle, we see this every day.
For those of us who are not politicians, who are just out here being humans each day, how do we respond to the insults we receive? To react is to rely on and lead with emotion in our words and deeds. To respond is to carefully craft an intention and to consciously create, through our words and deeds, thoughts and behaviors that spiritually govern matter. In other words, we are conscious of Ephesians 6:12: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, and against the worldly governors, the princes of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness, which are in high places.” (1599 Geneva Bible) Because we know and hold this to be true, we divinely design a spiritual response to a worldly insult.
After you are insulted, create some space, using silence, to ask yourself these questions: Is there any truth to this insult? Does this insult point to the past (and who I used to be) or to the future (and who I am becoming)? Sit with these questions and meditate on the answers.
Think for a moment of how far some of the faithful have gotten away from Matthew 22:39: “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” And what about earlier in Matthew (in the 5th chapter, verse 38): “You have heard that it has been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: (39) But I say unto you, That you resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” Turn the other cheek. How far from that teaching many of us have come. Turn the other cheek. The conventional wisdom these days, particularly in the political realm, is that if you follow this advice from Jesus, fighting “the good fight of faith” the Apostle Paul speaks of (in 1 Timothy 6:12), that you will in fact lose the race for office you are running. Politics is treacherous business and to win, so they say, you must play dirty pool. This is what we are told by political scientists and pundits, and this is what we appear to see playing out each day of this election season.
Even in a nasty business, one can be committed to kindness. At the root of kindness is the consideration of other people. Kindness is a virtue and a spiritual practice. Beware of people who profess love for God and who treat their fellow humans poorly. Be very wary of those who praise God on the one hand and who speak and post negatively about others on the other hand. If I’m thinking negatively about you, then you are someone who does not need to be in my world. And if I cannot remove you from my world because you are family or a co-worker, then my mission becomes to serve you with kindness – and to limit my exposure to you as best I can. In other words, you give basic human courtesy – and no extras. “How are you today?” they may ask. The reply: “Fine, thank you.” And that’s it. You give nothing extra. This is an exercise of practical kindness in a daily walk where you are committed to the higher calling and preservation of your soul.
Beware of people who say they love an invisible God, yet they do not love their neighbor as they love themselves. These are people who do not fully understand that you reap what you sow. These are people who do not understand that they are currently living in everything they have ever spoken with their mouth and demonstrated with their behavior. When you fully understand that you reap what you sow, you cease desiring to hear negativity from anyone and you are no longer compelled to speak negatively to or about others. In making observations of the world around you, there are realities and truths that are hard and ugly and painful, so the spiritual practice becomes how do I use my words to describe these conditions, with my ever-present intention to “do no harm?” This is not to say that you fail to speak critically of others; it’s that you decline to ridicule and demean others. What do you gain by putting negativity out into the world? You receive negativity back – in equal proportion to that which you send out. This is a great spiritual understanding to fully integrate into one’s being. There is great power and opportunity here.
Speaking facts about someone is not negativity, given the tone and spirit in which you make your remarks. Negativity is bringing your emotions to the facts, with the intention of making another person look or feel bad based upon those facts. Sometimes you do this because you think putting someone else down will make you feel better about your own life and circumstances. You do not love yourself enough not to do it. In the moment, what you are failing to realize and remember is that a tree is known by its fruit. What kind of tree are you? And what kind of tree do you want to be? This is deeply personal. It’s your one life to live and you can choose to live it any way you want. It’s your page on social-media and you are free to post whatever you like. We look at, pick and taste your fruit; we observe how you live and what you post; and we see for ourselves what kind of tree you are – and we cultivate our own garden accordingly. And that means that some of you trees out there get chopped for mulch; others are made into firewood and burned; and still others remain for decorative purposes only. We are watching you, and the tree that you are, and we are deciding where you fit in our garden, if you have a place there at all.
There are those great trees, say an oak tree, that you sit under in the heat of the day, taking succor in the shade of its many leaves and branches. These are the trees that remain; they came to stay, to comfort and to heal you as you gaze upon them from a distance.
All of this is to say, brothers and sisters, that you answer an insult by knowing deeply and profoundly the garden you are cultivating and by understanding the necessary elements to make your garden grow: earth, air, water and the fire of the sun. Yes, weeds will happen: the tares always grow along with the wheat. The question is: Are you a weed in someone’s garden or are you the wheat that will bring sustenance and manna to those whose hands are cupped before you? You answer an insult by reading from the walls of your heart. What wisdom has been seared there on those walls, that you can now draw upon to respond to this insult?
People who speak and post poorly of others do not love themselves enough not to do it – they are weeds that often need to be pruned from your productive life. These people are revealing their cards, showing others the substance of their soul, revealing exactly who they are – praising God while dismissing and diminishing one of His children. These people are reminders of who you used to be and what you are no longer choosing to become. They are to be loved and, when possible, left behind. Anyone who insults you is not for you. And if these people cannot be left behind, they are to be loved from a distance. Loving others from a distance is a spiritual practice and discipline.
It is possible to teach people how to treat you. That is another story for another day. For now, the greatest baby step in that direction may be to rise above and walk away. Perhaps there will come a day and a time when you will consciously circle back and gather them again, when and if they have grown and evolved beyond their current level of development and spiritual consciousness. And maybe not.
So let it be written, read, heard, spoken and agreed upon, so let it be done.